https://www.posetteforever.com/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=1284&p=18634#p18634
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Visitor
Wednesday, 16 February 2005, 09:35 AM

Seen on a sign.
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Have you ever wondered what people are thinking when they make or select signs?

Here are some, that I [b]hope[/b] were attempts at humor, but I suspect they were posted as serious statements.

In the marque box in front of a church:
  [i]Lost? Alone? Don't go to hell all by yourself, come in and let us help you.[/i]

A sign in front of a dining hall for people down on their luck:
  [i]We have pleanty of food.  Don't go eating garbage out of dumpsters in back alleys, come eat ours instead.[/i]

On a drop box:
   [i]No Toxic Waist[/i]

Behind a checkout counter:
  [i]Satisfaction or you money back[/i]
directly below that sign:
  [i]All sales final, NO EXCEPTIONS[/i]


A sequence of instructions on a VCR cleaning tape:
    [i]Press Stop Now[/i]
   a ten second pause in the  presentation of the instructions then
    [i]Press Eject Now[/i]
   Another ten second pause and then
    [i]Do not rewind tape[/i]

On the label of a cleaning product:
  1.  Apply <product name> to surface to be cleaned
  2.  Let sit for 1 minute (50 seconds)
  3.  Wipe surface clean
  4.  Repeat

On a sign is a stairway.
   [i]Never say no to a customer[/i]
  The sign above that one:
   [i]Authorized personnel only, No customers allowed[/i]

In a manual:
   [i]WARNING Read entire manual before opening package[/i]

The package it was talking about was the box that contained the product.  The manual was in a plastic bag within a small cardboard box, that was inside of a larger cardboard box, that was wrapped in heat shrink plastic, that was stored inside of the casing of the product, that had been closed with screws, that was encased in styrofoam, that was enclose in the shipping box, that was sealed with tape and strapping (metal straps).


Pangor


