https://www.posetteforever.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1562&p=23263#p23263 ----------------------------------- Visitor Friday, 22 July 2005, 03:26 AM Opinion needed (PLEEEEASE!!!) ----------------------------------- As you may know I like to write ( and in most of the cases after that burn the written) , so I like to share the subject of one of my biggest projects just to know what you sincerely think about it. I just can't translate a part of the writing in english whith all these metaphors , specifical idioms and descriptions ( 10 pages only descriptions in a chapter of 15 pages!!! ) So this is just the subject. It was planning to be a science-fiction writing but now even I don't know which genre it fits. Ok , here is it (please don't laugh) I know it's long but PLEASE I really need an opinion :uuh: :uuh: :uuh: :roll: :pray: The first part is about a post-apocalyptical anti-utopic world after several wars . The action pass in a isolated community somewhere in the world and the main purpose of all these nonsence is to explain the reasons for the apocalypse. During the "Global times" (this is in our days) a new revolutionary invention was created , a substance called "the latin essence" which can convert information into the whole 5 physical conditions . Later it was transformed to a medicine which affects only the cortex of the brain and transfer a new information in it. After 24 hours the information was gone and the patient needed a new dose. It didn't cause addiction , there was no secondary effects but there was a problem. The problem was that the latin essence was manifactured only in one part in the world by the inventor in his factory and it was immpossibles to guess the formula because :1) the substance evaporated after 24 hours no matter if you used it or not and b) the substance was sealed hermetically in a capsula , if you opened it it evaporated again. After that the government of the country where the inventor was living discovered the factory and made a deal with him. The government pledge to protect and hide the factory and the production in exchange of 50% of the profit of the production. Suddenly this essence swarmed all over the world , people used it to pass examps to get more than 10 diplomas , to find high-paied jobs. But they forgot that if they have no real knowedge for the profession they exercised they should take latin essence every day in order not to lose their job and there was only one place in the world they could get it. Firstly the other counties' governments took the care of the transport of the latin essence because they wanted all to be legal . But they are parts of the world in which you just couldn't deliver it for less than 24 hours and a crowd of citizens who had paid for the delivery started to protest. Then the governments passed on the torch to the private companies and in a short distance of times most of them went bankrout. The economical crisis became even worse thanks to the fact that if in a company one of the employes took latin essence he/she could do the job of other persons and nobody needs to pay to 2 persons for something that only the 1 of them can do himself. There was a big unemployment in most of the parts of the world except one place of course , the place where the factory which produced all this substance was. To make the things even worse some of the ex engineers from the factory united and created an illegal market for latin essence. They just thin it out and sold it cheaper. So there was 1 quality- the original, which affect the brain 24 hours whitout causing disorder , second quality - 12 hours but still safe , 3 quality - 10 hours causing loss of memory and little brain damages , 4 quality - 8 hours great damages after permanent use , 5 quality - 7 hours and after permanent use the brain couldn't take all its functions at once , 6 quality - 5 hours and after a several times you fall asleep for no reason in any time and you also forget how to do simple things like counting , writing and reading and the thin 6 quality - 3 hours causing things worse than the mentioned above. The minority of people used the thin sixth quality and the fifth quality in the best case. So the consequences were a real catastrophe , people lost their jobs because of making elementary mistakes or just falling asleep at their work place , schools were suddenly closed and meanwhile a huge wave of immigrants attacked the only economically stable country. So an union between the most powerfull counties decides to ask for scientific collaboration to the Latin essence's county as it was called later in order to create in order to create other factories producing latin essence. The inventor was about to sing a ontract but his county's government realized that they would loose the monopole of the latin essence and after 10 years it would be in the hands of other more powerful countries who would probably use it as they do , to top up their states' exchequer. They distroied a pert of te factory and they even didn't have to present it like an accident because the place when the factory wasn't on any map , it was nowhere. The factory owner refused the contract and made the Union try to reach the latin essence in the other way by sending spies. The government was obligated to protect the factory and after a little time the spies disappeared..forever. So the Union decided to give an ultimatum but it was neglected because the Latin essence's country had the possibility to create te best paid army in the world. And the first "liberating" war started , the latin essence's counrty was destroyed completely. After that another government discovered first the formula of the essence but since its economical situation was very bad it decided to keep it for a little and produce a "little" latin essence for the rest of the world in order to recover. And it did it for a " little" time - 10 years. Then the Union started another liberatimg war and destroied the second country too. All these process repeated several times since the Union was distroied by itself and everyone was in war with the rest usually for no reason or for one reason only - the latin essence's monopol, the great price for the winner. So the participiants did all possible to win the great price using every possible sort of weapon and finally they cause apocalypse wich after that was called DFA ( Derima Fatora Anterina , in sellen " the newest era") After DFA there was no countries just diffrent communities isolated one from another by radiation , chemical refuse , and wreckages of highways. The action pass in chuch a community. After DFA the latin essence was forbiden and people return to the real education. The problem was that there was many members from the community who couldn't read and write and also couldn't learn the basis again because the low quality latin essence caused serious damages of their brains. Anyway there was a private school founded by miss Teufel ( "teufel" in german "devil") and most of the parents thinked that there's something wrong about it because of the high results of their children's education , there were inususally high even when most of the children had inherited their parents' diseases. They supposed miss Teufel gave them high quality latin essence because there were also no secondary effects. They did several inspections in the school and found nothing. Actually the truth was that she didn't gave them latin essence , she teached them how to produce it. Obviously miss Teufel's parents were one of these who created the illegal latin essence market. She was doing some sort of revolution , because she realizad that they couldn't survive without the latin essence and if it was forbidden the most of the hscientific knowedge would be lost for the next generations. Later the students started to live with their teacher and leaved their parents . After her death they invented an artificial language to protect the latin essence's formula - the sellen. The first part of the writing ends with some philosophical troughs about the future by one of the students who became older.