https://www.posetteforever.com/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=3220&p=39329#p39329
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Tormie
Thursday, 10 April 2008, 11:34 PM

The bus driver and the comma 22 situations
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You probably already know that I work as a bus driver that is a job that has its pro and cons . It reminds me every day that I could have studied more and have better, but it also reminds me that as lazy as I am it was golden luck if I found something like this, I don't know if I could stand to work in an office, or in a place with hierarchies.
The worst problem for me is not that I'm driving a big bus in the crazy traffic of an Italian city, I'm long time used to see the most incredible crashes and to avoid pedestrians that cross randomly the street, the problem are the passengers: You can even have that banner that say "(please) do not disturb the driver" but of course there is the magic word to avoid it: "sorry".
So I wanted to share with you some of my daily experiences and the comma 22 situations (situations where you don't have a way out).

Q: "Sorry, I..."
A: "Don't worry, you're excused..."

Q: "Sorry, where is the next stop ?"
(Now... I get really confused when someone asks me something like that: I mean: you're in the bus, I can't open the door till the next stop, so why you want to know where is the next stop ?)
A: "You can only wait and see, you've no other chanches"

(when you're at the teminus, comfy, reading the newspaper) 
Q: "Sorry, when will the bus leave?"
A1: "When I'll close the door and start the engine"
A2: "At the time written on the big panel there"
A3: "10 minutes" , then the passenger usually go out, light a cygarette and I instantly close the door, start the engine and leave

(when you're at the teminus, and leave the bus to go to the toilet or to the coffe machine in the drivers room)
Q: "Sorry, when will the bus leave?"
A1: "just the time to piss, If I do it on the bus then a lot of flies would come"
A2: "When I come back, BTW the keys are in (just in case you are in a hurry and want to drive it yourself)"
A3: "BURP!"

"I'll take the bus number and will report it!!"
"You can even play the numbers at the lotto"

"I'll take the bus number and will report it!!"
"Just do it, but remember to write your exact address"

"How rude ! I'll take the bus number and will report it!!"
"but I just said you nothing... I don't remember to have said you to f**k off"

"Do you speak english ?"
"No, not even a little bit, sorry..."

The best one happened to me a sunday night at 22 when I stopped at the central station. Now, in your country probably the rate of people coming on the bus without a ticket is very low, here is different, but it's ok unless you come to the driver...

"Sorry, I wasn't able to find a ticket, do you sell them?"
"No, or the outside banner with "Don't go in without a valid ticket" would have no sense"
"But... I'm sorry, what I should do now?"
(stopping the bus)
"Well lady, you could answer it yourself: you would have go down in the metro and bought the ticket at the automatic machine, but here, you've those heavy bags, don't you? You couldn't. In a more civilized country you would have seached that ticket, no matter what but now you come here and search for a justification, you want me to say you "it's not your fault, don't worry", but actually, I'm not a priest, I can't give you the absolution but as you asked it : [i]Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. Amen[/i]"
Then, while the lady started yelling I seated again, put on both the headphones of my MP3 player, pumped the volume to the max moving as a bobble head and moved the bus.

More to come  :crying:


