Ok. I think there is no such a topic in the Kindergarden area ( I'm not very sure about it ) I'm sure all of you have friends who are non-3d artists , and who didn't use computer in their workplace or at home. Today our teacher gave us a task to present some terms or jargon words witch belong to some community in front of the class and then the others had to guess to whitch community belong the terms or the jargon words. So ..., when it came my turn I standed in front of the class and pretended to call a friend. I started saying some pointless scentences as : " Hi ! I'm rendering in the moment ...yes, yes ... what happened with your textures ... a ..that's fine! Yes dynamic hair , It seems like I accidentaly deleted the bump map ... no no postwork ... yes like the mesh... making the UV map is a nightmare...and then the join parameters... yes  I made the materials ... etc " The result was: "   Emm! What?   " ( It was so funny! This game was a realy GOOD idea ! lol) Then I tryed to explain what is "rendering", "bump map" , "transperancy map" " a mesh" , "UV map " and the diffrence between "texture" and "material". I'm using these words every day but I couldn't explain what they mean   (there is no special terms for them in my native language, only one for "rendering" " tsvetorazdelka" aka colour-dividing) . Most of the people from my class speak English better than me , the teacher speaks English but it's impossible to explain to someone who had never used any 3D program what is a UV map.    There are some special words in every little community witch the others can't understand ( like "shricken" I know it must be "chiken" , doesn't it ?   ) But it seems that there are no special 3d jokes. So , you know I'm trying to invent a language , then why not invent 3d jokes? ( I know there are stupid , I have no sense of humour ) Something like:
" It's cold today . brrrr! My "texture" (skin) is  pricking!"
" If you say one more word I'll change your head " morph targets" ( I'll strike you in te face ) "
" You're such a mesh! ( You're  so numb!)"
" People are afraid of me when I'm without " postwork" ( make-up)!
"She's lying about her age just look at her " bump map" (wrinkled skin)"
" Excuse me where is the "material room" ( fitting-room)"
" Did I drink too much or there's something wrong with the "anti-analysing?"
" I'm sorry but this outfit can't be "conformed " to you . Maybe you must "change the scale"
" Are you "parented " to me ? Stop following me everywere !"
" What a cute "low poly mesh" ( a child)!"
or
" A 3d artist and a painter are talking.
The painter: Who's your favourite impressionist?
The 3d artist: bryce  of course.
The painter:    And what do you think about Da Vinci's masterpiece " Mona Lisa"?
The 3d artist: Oh! Too much postwork! "

P.S. : Thank you for reading all this pointless things and stupid jokes . I have nothing against any painter![-X  I was in a special painting class long time ago.

LOL I think you have a great sence of humour
My favorites among your jokes are:

" I'm sorry but this outfit can't be "conformed " to you . Maybe you must "change the scale"
" Are you "parented " to me ? Stop following me everywere !"
" It's cold today . brrrr! My "texture" (skin) is pricking!"

I don't know if pricking is an english word, but we have a similar expression in swedish so i know what you mean. For those that don't know what pricking is she's talking about goose bumps.   

All postwork and no rendering makes Victoria a dull 2D painting.

Adapted from "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy".


Pangor

I think there are a few exceptions.

Yes, Posy, you and the other posettes are the exception.

Pangor

Oh. Are we in the same category?

Yes Posy, you are in the same category! All postwork and no rendering? This reminds me a 3d competition in the 3dBG's site ( bulgarian 3d portal) The requirements were :
"You cannot use any 2d software!   Don't try to retouch your pictures!!!
You cannot use Poser!       ( They think everything made in Poser is not an art!   )
You cannot use bryce!       Of course you cannot use Vue d'esprit too!     "
There were only 2 pictures created for this competition.      
So , all rendering and no postwork makes talented people supercilious professionals!  
No postwork ???  

""? -beginscript|? I am in Tormentor's computer in  Castiraga Vidardo.  Where are you? Someone said I should use Poser.

Yes Posy, you are in the same category! All postwork and no rendering? This reminds me a 3d competition in the 3dBG's site ( bulgarian 3d portal) The requirements were :
"You cannot use any 2d software!   Don't try to retouch your pictures!!!
You cannot use Poser!       ( They think everything made in Poser is not an art!   )
You cannot use bryce!       Of course you cannot use Vue d'esprit too!     "
There were only 2 pictures created for this competition.      
So , all rendering and no postwork makes talented people supercilious professionals!  
No postwork ???  

Yikes! I am in Tormentor's computer in  Castiraga Vidardo.  Where are you?

I'm in my computer ( his name is Oscar.   Yes my computer as a name.) in Dobritch, near the center of the town ! It's about 21:28.  
P.S : Sorry for the double post.  

Depending on what they were trying to promote I could understand the restrictions.  But I think it sounds like they got what tehy asked for.  

Poser is not liked by many "Professionals" who think that it makes it too easy to make art, the same is true about Vue and bryce.

An old modeler I like (and sometimes hate ARGHHH!)  is TrueSpace.  DKB raytracer and POV-Ray that it latter became,  are execelent raytracers that I have worked with since the 1980's. ...and other software of that kind have also been treated the way that Poser was in that contest.  It seems that the "professionals", dislike popular software that is used by too many of the "little people".  They really hate free software that can run on lower priced hardware.  They shw the hatred by dismissing the software as toys and the artist who use it as pretenders.  Much of the time though, they are the real pretenders, because they often use the same software when it suits them.

Back before the great growth of the internet, we used other methods of computer communications.  One of those methods was by Computer Bulliten Board Systems.  We could have to use an ascii terminal or a computer running a terminal emulator software to conneect to teh BBS.  Most often through a modem by directly dialing the BBS on the telephone.  We had one in my area that was dedicated to computer graphics.  At first everyone with an interest was welcome and everyone was more or less treated the same.  Then that BBS became famous enough to have callers calling in from all over the country.  Some of the callers were users of "professional software", the they formed a clique within the BBS and others were treated like outsiders.  I was one of those so treated because of the software I was using.  People got tired of the threatment and many stopped calling in, but I continued to call in.

There was one of the "insiders" who was able to "create" some wonderful textures for his models.  The others of his class were amazed at his skill with textures and lighting.  I knew better be may have been using the "professional software" to create his models, but they were being rendered in POV-Ray.  I reconized the stock textures and the shadowing effects from that free renderer, he always pretended to have been creating his textures in the high priced software.  Meanwhile another of them was doing some impresive work too.  This person was claiming to be using some very expensive software, instead, he was using TrueSpace for his best works.  I again reconsize teh procedural textures from that program and the existance of a strange effect in his shadows that was quirk of that modeler adn renderer.  The reflections that they  praised his work for, was by using the raytracing renderer of TrueSpace, and not the reflection maps he claimed to be using in his more expensive software.  There were others who were slowly begining to use the same detested softwares, secretly.

One day the sysop determined that only the respected professionals should be able to use that BBS and the rest of us got locked out.  Within a year, that BBS went bye bye forever.

Pangor

Great sense of humor erenda     !!! I really like your 3d jokes! Great idea         !!

About the pre-internet growth era, I was an Ham-radio and we had a web of packet-bbs . I think that the sytem exist actually but I'm no more interested even if I still have an east Germany/soviet vhf radio in my garage and an old CB radio, just in case of communication breakdown...

You really do? A lot of people like that.      Yes I am proud of my 3d jokes.

Ah I remember HAM radio.  When I was a teen and a little before that I was into that, but could not afford a rig, so I was slowly gathering parts to build one.  Then the CB'ers on the 11 meter band started to use hot rigs with boots.  Except for televsion yagis all antennas were suspect, and soon it bcamae almost impossible to get a permit to set up an ariel.  So that was that for radio.  At the time the I moved on to other studies, the early experiments that lead to packet radio were beginning to appear in the QST.

Pangor