St. Peter greets them at the Pearly Gates and lays down the
rules.
St. Peter proceeds to tell the three of them that everything
will be fine as long as they don't step on any of the ducks around
the place.
"When you step on one, it quacks, and before long, they all quack!"
"There is a harsh penalty for stepping on a duck" says St. Peter and
leaves the three nerds to fend for themselves.
In almost no time at all, John steps on one of the thousands upon
thousands of ducks that are everywhere.
All the ducks are quacking and St. Peter shows up with an amazon
woman. He chains the nasty looking amazon to John and tells him that
he must spend eternity with her and leaves Bill and Jim.
Not much later, Bill manages to step on a duck and the ducks all begin
to quack. Sure enough, St. Peter shows up again with a skinny, mousey
looking woman and chains her to Bill and is told that he as well must spend all eternity with this woman.
A week later Jim is cautious and hasn't stepped on any ducks. He notices
that St. Peter is approaching him with a chain and the most voluptuous, beautiful blonde he has ever laid eyes on !
St. Peter tells Jim the nerd that he must now spend eternity with this well endowed beauty. Jim, unable to believe his good fortune asks St. Peter...
"What did I do to deserve this ?"
The woman says...
"I don't know about you, but I just stepped on a duck !"
A man skydiving for the first time pulls the ripcord but his chute does
not open. In desparation he reaches for the reserve chute, and it too
fails to open. He prays like never before and much to his surprise he sees
a woman skyrocketing up from the ground. As she zooms by him he yells out...
"Do you know anything about parachutes ?"
"No" yells the woman...
"Do you know anything about gas barbeques ?"
....
