1. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you,
    but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
    serve food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
    says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
    The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
    taste funny to you?"

8. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
    Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
    you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
    to look at, either.

10. What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.


Yeah, I know ...

They're not that bad, you made me smile

Two blondes walk into a bar...
You'd think one of them would have seen it!
 

    

Thanks for the light moment in an otherwise dull day...

____________
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

It's all part of the job.....     

Good grief.
Those are bad  

Aack!
Even your avatar is rolling its eyes!

____________
...Reality is for people who can't handle psychosis...

OK, how about this one.....

A man and his son are on a road trip.
About an hour into the trip, the son turns to his father and says,
"Hey Dad, can I have some candy?"
The father replies "I didn't bring any candy."

An hour or so passes and the son, sure that his father brought candy, says
"C'mon Dad, lemme have some candy!"
Dad sighs, "I told you already, I didn't bring any!"

The son, frustrated by this point, shouts "Come on! Share the candy!"
Dad sighs once more and says "Look Son. Take the 'F' out of 'candy'
and tell me what you've got."
The son thinks for a moment before replying
"But Dad, there is no 'F' in 'candy'."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!
There ain't no F***ING CANDY!"
     

____________
...Reality is for people who can't handle psychosis...

  

____________
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams